What 30 Years of Marriage Taught Me

By fbrowne

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30 Years of Marriage


When we got married on August 30, 1986, I really was not thinking any more beyond, going on our honey moon, having sex regularly, getting pregnant and showing off my baby. 30 years later, I have come to realize that marriage is much more fulfilling and gratifying than the shallow thoughts I had in 1986. I have learnt a lot in 30 years including a lot about myself. I have also mastered how to live a happy, peaceful and contented life with someone else on a daily basis. Time will not permit me to discuss everything, but on this our 30th wedding anniversary, I will share 7 of my best kept secrets for a blissful marriage.

 1. God Is The Head Of Our Home 

My husband and I acknowledge and understand that God rules our home. The success of our marriage depends on Him. We make time to pray together and pray with our children. God gives us wisdom and direction. His oversight is the secret to our success.

2. We Come First

One of the most powerful lessons that we learned is to put ourselves and our happiness first. Our happiness takes priority over our children, our jobs, our family members and our friends. Once I ensure my husband’s happiness, everything and everyone else fall in place. My husband is a firm believer and lives by the fact that a happy wife makes a happy life.

3. Marriage Takes Work

Wishing for something does not make it happen. Working at it, does. Marriage takes work and every day we do as much as we can to make our marriage better. A happy marriage of 30 years is a culmination of work of 30 years.

4. We Trust Each Other

We learned to trust each other in all aspects strengthening our friendship. We trust each other with our finances, our words and our lives. Knowing that we can count on each other to follow through with simple everyday tasks is profound.

5. We Support And Respect Each Other

We support each other with positive and uplifting words. We learned early on that screaming and yelling at each other does not resolve arguments. They just leave both of us sad long after the argument is over.

6. We Spend Time Together Daily

Stolen moments of staying in touch during the day bring reassurance. Simple ways of spending time together make a lot of difference. A hug, a phone call, a text or sitting down to a meal are powerful tools which have strengthened our relationship over the years.

7. We Forgive Each Other And Move On. 

You can imagine that in 30 years we have made a lot of mistakes and caused each other pain. That is why we learned earlier on how to resolve issues by genuinely saying sorry and forgiving one another. We are not angels. We are humans and we make mistakes. We forgive ourselves and move on.

I enjoy being married and I know my husband does too. It is not a perfect marriage but it is a great one. I look forward to the next 30 years of faith, family and fun, traveling and spending time with my best friend, my husband.

Early on our journey, my husband and I made a pact that our marriage will not be included in statistics for broken marriages and our children will not be included in statistics for children growing up a single parent home. It is amazing how this pact has kept us in place. 

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