Keeping the Peace

By fbrowne

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Conflict is a normal part of a relationship. After all, two people cannot expect to agree on everything all the time. Learning how to deal with conflict rather than avoiding it is crucial.

Here are 6 ways a couple can deal with conflict.

1. Beware of danger zones.
These are the sensitive issues which create argument each time they come up. Navigate the danger zones by being tender, and tactful. Consider the timing and when to table the discussion. Trust God.

2.  Own your feelings, attitudes and actions.
Quit defending yourself and take responsibility for your actions. Avoid defaming, blaming and shaming your spouse. Such actions put the other person on the defensive and aggravates the situation.

3. Avoid superlatives, comparisons and exaggerations.
We are all uniquely made. Give your spouse the gift of authenticity. He or she does not have to behave like your friends wife or your sister’s husband. Don’t compare. Avoid embellishing your story with exaggerations and superlatives.

4. Be a peacemaker.
Genuinely value peace by keeping your spirit clear of contention. Always seek resolution and reconciliation when conflict surface. Do not pretend as if it does not exist. Freely ask for forgiveness and likewise forgive quickly. Most of all, relinquish your right to be right. It is okay… you will live.

5. Make big and regular deposits into the love account of your spouse.
When there is a conflict you can always draw from your account of love and beautiful memories.
6. Pray, play, worship and work together.
‘A couple that prays together stays together’. It is true. It is not just a cliché. Make time to pray with your spouse consistently. Go out on dates and do fun stuff that you both enjoy. Serve in the Church together. It is all about teamwork. Make it fun and make it last.

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